Prophecies of The Funktopus

Prophecy:Cody Rhodes' is what drew me back into pro wrestling, with his over-the-top intro, Homelander coats, but most importantly, a true, un-kayfabe way of connecting with kids and fans alike. His father may have been the American Dream, but I don't think Dusty could have ever predicted this meteoric rise for his kiddo, and I can only imagine how proud he is. Adrenaline, in my soul, leaving Philadelphia with Roman's gold. Book it.

Prophecy:Triple H has genuinely cooked the end of the lead up to Mania, but absolutely got drunk and watched Avengers: Infinity War one night and went "I have a GREAT idea". Rock & Roman will beat Cody & Seth. It will become a "darkest before the dawn" moment, which will allow the main event on night 2 to be a glorious, overbooked mess with every one of Roman's enemies come back to hurt him, and finally end his reign of terror. This match is the Thanos snap.

Prophecy:Drew quickly cooked his way to one of my favorite character works of the first half of 2024. This heel but telling the actual truth thing has been amazing, like a dark side Kevin Owen's. I think this sets up a solid summer feud with the healed Punk, and gives Cody an extra bit of despair as Captain America loses his Iron Man for the finale.

Prophecy:Charlotte, Becky and Sasha have all headlined a Wrestlemania, in front of an actual crowd (Sasha's was an abrevied due to COVID, but was in front of people). It's kinda a bummer that the last of the Four Horsewomen never got hers, and it's about time we crown Bayley's face turn with giving her the moment she has always deserved.

Prophecy:So, this isn't an easy pick because I genuinely believe that they're gonna split the belts here, with the Raw ones going to Awesome Truth and the Smackdown ones going to either A-Town Down Under or the New Catch Republic. Either way, I see Miz and Truth walking out with gold.

Prophecy:Break my freaking back, Asuka is gonna go 0-7 at Wrestlemania. That being said, Bianca is a generational star, downright amazing, and Jade just LOOKS like a superstar, and thankfully will have her current in-ring growth covered by two top-of-the-game stars in Naomi and Bianca.

Prophecy:Boy. They did not book too much to guess on this one. I suspect this one goes to Rey & Lee, it's a lovely cool down match to put on 2ed during the first night, gives more to the splitting Rhea/Priest/Judgement Day story and gives Rey at least one more W at Mania.