Prophecies of Lauren Park

Prophecy:This match could go either way. John Cena is extraordinarily corny. The spinning belt has to go and the pump up shoes are so 80's. Triple H all the way.

Prophecy:eenie meenie miney mo.

Prophecy:Unfortunately, I believe that Ric Flair will win the Money In the Bank match (the money is actually in a suit case, not a bank). Leading up to the win, we will be forced to suffer through his flapping old man titties and awful "I fall on my side not on my back b/c I'm a puss" falls. As if that was not enough, we must watch him slap hard man boobies and bellow 'WOOOOOO!" for most of the match.

Prophecy:Hopefully this is an extremely bloody match with Mick Foley swinging that barbed wire baseball bat of his. Nevertheless, the "R-rated Superstar" (ha) will triumph.

Prophecy:I originally thought Vince McMahon would win this match but, Michaels has been screwed over in all his previous meetings with McMahon so I'm quite positive he'll take the match. On a lighter note, McMahon has a nice ass for an elderly chap.

Prophecy:No comment.

Prophecy:My prediction is that Carlito and Chris Masters will take the Tag Team title from the Show and Kane. I'm really not sure why but, that's what my wrestling sixth sense tells me. Besides, Carlito has a cute little red apple on his shirt.

Prophecy:The Undertaker will scare the bejesus out of the oversized Mark Henry with his chilling eye rolls and terrifying entrance music and will ultimately get the beast into the casket and slam the lid of the casket down like it's his job.

Prophecy:Though I don't agree with The Boogeyman's awful abuse towards earthworms, I believe that he will win this match. Hopefully he will actually wrestle instead of gyrating around the ring chasing Booker T and Ms. Black America with large worms dangling from his mouth.

Prophecy:Mickie James...that bitch is crazy. Trying to get all up on my woman like that. PFFT! I guarantee she'll take the title from the reigning champ. Ms. Stratus has held the title for far too long and it will be stripped away by her stalking lover.

Prophecy:This match is absolutely dreadful. After a few swings of the pillows and god awful banshee screams, Torrie Wilson will pin Candice Michelle but not before Candice Michelle pulls out her handy dandy "magical wand" and bops Torrie Wilson in the noggin.